David Hockney and the need to communicate

The most striking thing about David is his ability to paint whatever he wants. You can feel so much freedom in his work, each painting is a small window on his world, no matter the medium, no matter the size, from a simple flower to a landscape in Normandy everything is powerful because it's him.

I've felt a bit jealous whilst looking at his work, not because of his talent or fame but about this sense of self. I can honestly say that I only have 15/20 finished artworks that I'm proud of but nothing to call a real body of work. I'm not comparing with David but 20 compared to 400 is vertiginous : why have I been so obsessed with the idea of creating a collection, a community rather than painting?

There's something insidious about our society: social media and self-marketing are so rooted in our heads that even when we're experimenting, we need to document everything. Share every bit of our life. I'm completely aware of the fact that artists need to speak about their work, inspirations etc...but I can't help but be a bit envious, not to say nostalgic, of artists like Hockney, Bourgeois or Sempé who spoke ,indeed, of their work but, hello pre-internet world, done it less frequently or more quietly?

It's scary after 6 years of trying to say "maybe I should keep art as a hobby ?" the marketing, the storytelling, the talking is overwhelming. I’m writing these words from Oslo, after a visit to the Munch museum and I can forget these words written on a panel «  creating is to be alone ».

The work must be done in private.

The pencil, the paint, the canva : the holy trinity. How is it possible to explore our own thoughts through art with the constant reminder of « you must share your process », «  you must share consistently to your community » etc…what if If I needed 6 months or a year without writing anything to you because all I have to say is in my private journal or on my canva? It’s against marketing advice ! But what if I need it? How is it possible to explore isolation, solitude, anxiety, stillness, to express each hues of these feelings if there’s always this outside pressure to use words to do so ?

What if if I need more doing and no talking ?

What if I need more time to explore my inner world without explaining each discovery to the outer world ?

What if I need to play with my own rules ?